It’s All Just a Metaphor

everything in life is really a metaphor.

every simple thing can be taken as a sign.

every action we make with intention is a gift from beyond.

i was born with straight, wispy, bleach blonde hair - as i got older, my hair got darker. around the age of 14 i started highlighting my dirty-blonde hair to lighter shades until i got to art school where i started bleaching and coloring my hair every color you could possibly imagine...

i spent 16 years coloring my hair, expressing myself, changing my appearance, doing all the fun things until the pandemic hit and i was forced to sit with myself - with only myself.

i hit a point where i realized i was tired of putting on the facade, tired of keeping up with the color, tired of constantly seeking change... i found myself in a place where i wanted to simply be me... a little more natural, a lot more real, and a whole new level of authentic Self.

i shaved my head completely and i've allowed my hair to grow in naturally... i had not seen my real hair for almost 20 years and as it came back, healthy and vibrant, beautifully curled and blonde and auburn and brown and silver and white and i could not be falling more in love with who i am now than ever i was before.

sometimes we spend so much time moving forward... and making changes... and rearranging or redoing or building or accomplishing the next thing... we forget to look back at what we've already done.

we forget what brought us to this point and this place.

and we lose our presence in that...

this year i reflect on me.

i stopped living for them... for their expectations... for their perception of me or my mistakes...

i stopped looking for approval or reward. i stopped waiting for the words i so desperately wanted to hear...

and i started living for me... i started offering myself from a place of service... and i spoke to my own heart in the silence saying, i'm so proud of who you've become and i'm so incredibly proud of what you have built despite all the pain you went through to get there.

i think that everyone deserves the chance to follow their dream...

because i believe that when you follow your dream, you create something that is so much more than what you imagined...

i think that we all deserve to find out who we were meant to be when we came into this world...

and i think that whatever that means to you... is more than enough, despite what anyone else might tell you about "who you're supposed to be"...

you're supposed to be YOU.

because there's only ONE of YOU...

there's only ONE CHANCE in this world for you to express yourself as the unique being that you are...

i think we've spent far too long being asked to step into a box and conform to a shape that isn't even real...

i think we've been told too often... that we're too much... that we're not enough... 

and we find ourselves stuck in between these expectations that don't have ANYthing to do with who we really are...

my sweetest love,

please...

just be you.

be your faults. be your dreams. be your wild, wild world... be your tears, be your fears, be your demons, be your savior... be chaos, be the light, be... just be yourself. always. just be yourself...

in every moment.

don't deny who you really are.

the more authentic you become..

the more you remember yourself...

& the more you change the world around you...

because you let others know that it's okay...

it's okay...

it's okay to be exactly who you ARE. as you ARE.

i have spent my whole life hiding deeply in the darkness of the shadows... so that one day i could shine bright enough to blind the world around me.

and here I AM. take me or leave, i do not care... because here I AM. all that is.